Monday, August 21, 2017

Ground control to Major Telstra

We still don't have home internet here at Casa de Chooken. Eleven days later, today is the day supposedly. They did come Thursday, but amongst my shit cracking on the 'over five and under ten' phone calls to planet Telstra, there was some confusion that it was my home phone that wasn't working and not in fact my connection to the world wide web. Idiots. 

The order to fix my internets was never in play. Apparently it was an NBN issue, but I had to again find my eighties record player and saw disc, in an attempt to transmit a message to the bogans boffins at Telstra, that I was in need for the mothership to transport a couple of technicians to fix my broken communication panel 100 metres up the road. 

It has me thinking I should have went to rocket science school and I could have marched up there an done it my bloody self! But even though the real rocket scientists(NBN cronies) are staring the problem in the eye, they can't fix it because they don't have an order from planet Telstra. You would think, being information technology EXPERTS, they would have more communication skills to contact the MOTHERSHIP and have these issues resolved quickly!!
Whatever the outcome, the industry ombudsman has been informed. It will be most interesting to see how I am charged for this debacle. I may have to get the record player and disc out yet again! 

According to the ombudsman, this sort of thing is happening across the country, as the No Bloody Network connection, fibre optical change is being rolled out and engaged. Innocent and trusting Aussies are being bent over and indecently assaulted on a daily basis, with the blame being tossed around like a hot space rock. 


All I can say is well done to the intergalactic space weasels council in a galaxy far away called Canberra for rolling out such a fantastic, hassle free communication highway. Connecting all Australian peoples so effortlessly, with minimal stress to the user. 

Thank you.

It does seem we pay them too much to make bad decisions, or no bloody decisions at all. But then it goes back to the old saying, 'You can please some of the people all of the time, you can please all of the people some of the time, but you can't please all of the people all of the time". 



Next they'll be spending more of our money, to ask for OUR opinion and still be undecided about whether or not they should do what most of us are wanting. 

Anyhoo, totally off track, but how good are monk and poet, John Lydgate's quotes. Clever dicky bird he was. 




Monday, August 14, 2017

August garden - it's not all flowers

Yesterday was a glorious day weather wise. I planted a lemon tree where we have pulled out an old hedge that was getting a little sparse. It's let a whole lot more light in that corner of the garden. Hopefully the grass grows back there too, have to get some lawn seed. I am wanting to plant some hydrangeas along the fence where it's a little shadier, I think it will look gorgeous.

When we dropped the old hedge off at the tip, in true scrounger style I saw a HEAP of jonquil bulbs that I could not leave there. I brought them home and planted them around some of our big trees! Bonus. I love free stuff. Looking forward to seeing them flower next year!

It's nice to feel a little more sunshine as Spring draws closer, not long now.

I thought I would share a few of the permanent fixtures and characters I have around the garden.

I wasn't sure I was even going to get this post up today. Due to a Telstra fuck up, we haven't had home internet for four days, this will be the fifth day. I am going to lose my shit at them (again) if it is not back on today. So annoyed with them. Chewing up my mobile phone credit right here. 

This is my 250th Open Slather this week!! Thank you all for joining in over the last two hundred and fifty Mondays. That's like almost five years. It has been wonderful having you come along. 










My son made this truck limestone carving at school. I love it because he made it and I have such fond feelings when I walk past it in the garden.




This little guy has been in our garden for at least ten years. He was hidden until recently, when we got rid of the ivy. His colour has gone and I was surprised to see him in one piece still, considering he is hollow inside and would easily break.


About thirteenish years ago, I tended the garden of a lady, who ran a gift shop from her house and garden. I took this naughty gnome as payment one week.

I do like the look of metal garden art, but they don't last too long. I had a metal flamingo in this part of the garden, he is still there but has fallen to bits!


These three have been with us a while too.


The kids(we had one from next door for the day) got out for a run on the go kart in the sunshine. It helps to have a long driveway and live in a cul de sac.




Monday, August 7, 2017

Taking Stock - How is it even August?!

Making : I'd put it of as long as I could, but the nagging of my eldest girl Isabel got he better of me and I helped them make slime! We had no food colouring, so it looked a little 'Something about Mary', but the girls added glitter and it turned out well. 




Cooking : Dinner last night for my brother and sister in law. It was the AFL South Australian show down between the Adelaide Crows and Port Adelaide. We watched in disappointment as Port got flogged, but ate well! I made roasted veggie couscous and creamy bacon and broad bean pasta. My SIL Margi, bought along carrot salad to go with our barbecue meat. 

The weather was rough as guts, with a high of 8, and a 'feels like' temp of 2! Not the best barby weather. Boggy set the BBQ up in the shed with the fire box going. 

Roasted veggie cous cous is as easy as roasting cubes of eggplant, pumpkin, capsicum, onion and tomato. Throw some peeled garlic cloves, cumin, salt and olive oil over the top and bake at 200 for 20 minutes. Mix through some prepared cous cous, and mix in some finely chopped preserved lemon. Add lemon juice and zest if you don't have preserved lemon. I served it with feta cheese broken up over the top. Delish.

Drinking : Eight dollar cans of UDL at the pub over the weekend. My friend Elle and I went to the Raw Muscle male revue show at the Sporties (local pub). It was a fantastic ladies night out! 

Trawling: Online shopping sites. Is it just me, or does everyone else has a multitude of unchecked out shopping carts, in their 'Other bookmarks' folder?! It's like an online wishlist reminder!

Wanting: For rainbows to actually have a pot of gold at the end, and that rainbow to end on my front door step!

Looking: At online plant suppliers to cheaply fill the gaps in the garden where I have pulled out other stuff and gotten rid of ivy. I have a big space to fill that is shady and am thinking Hydrangeas or Camellias. Big beautiful plans! 

Deciding: What my lesson plans will entail for my upcoming Tiny Tots classes on Friday. I started teaching gymnastics to a class of six, 4/5 year old children this term. Challenging, as I have never done it before and I am still getting to know the kids. Challenging too, as the end of year concert is in early term 4 and I have to have them skill ready to perform. I am not putting too much pressure on, ten lessons isn't much time to reinforce a well seasoned four year old gymnast! 

Wishing: I don't usually enter, but I am hoping, like every time I see it come on, that the Sunrise Cash Cow would ring my dear old darling Dad. If anyone deserves that call he does! Hopefully he isn't on the dunny when they call!

Enjoying: A Pinot Grig(io) after my footy dinner party. 

Waiting: For my new phone to turn up. I am going to love, love the 13 megapixel camera. My camera/phone is so last century!

Wondering: Wondering when my kids will stop being sick. The first week of school holidays I had Isabel home from school for two days with a bug, and this week Summer has had a sore belly and an on and off temp. I need a break!

Loving: That Survivor is back on again. It fills the hole from Masterchef and gives me something to get excited about watching when the kids go to bed. I have not gotten on the Netflix bandwagon and can't see myself making the time for it either. Mainstream TV is floating my boat at the moment. I have always been daggy like that.

Listening: Well, intending to listen to Woogsworld podcast called The Hot Flush. I think I had my first hot flush on Saturday night before going out. My face and neck felt so hot and I found myself fanning my face in an attempt to cool down. The rest of my body was cold. Husband was worried I was sick and coming down with something. My cheeks still felt hot as I ordered tea, and thank goodness it had settles down before dinner arrived and the impending male review show! LOL.


Considering: Ordering menopause herbs and concoctions!


Buying: New undies. Is there any pleasure that is better? Besides new sheets of course. Now there's a debate.


Watching: Old reruns of the Kenny Everett show. Oh the memories of being a teenager in the eighties. It's still ridiculously funny. The teenage must watches or die a horribly devastatingly death of FOMO, was missing Kenny Everett, Countdown or The Goodies. Monkey Magic too for argument sake :)

Hoping: I have a carefree, stress free week. There seems to always be something lately that throws a spanner in the works. 


Marvelling: At my gorgeous little ray of sunshine, Summer. She came home from school telling me her friend(a boy) was doing Gangnam style dance at school. You know the wrist on wrist pony move. So she joined in doing the waving the wrist in the air and holding on the reigns move with him. Too bloody cute. I would have loved being a fly on the wall. She said no one was watching, and it resonates with me with the quote to dance as though no one is watching. A total five year old initiative. 


Cringing: At myself. I realised at the end of the day, as I reclined back on my couch, that I'd had my tracky daks on inside out all day! Total bogan move. It didn't look that obvious and I realise I I don't spend enough time on myself in regards to getting dressed in the morning. 


Needing: I am sure I say this way too much, but a holiday on my own.I have to plan a weekend away before we go away to the Goldie at the end of the month.


Questioning: Whether it was wise to buy a whole cask of Pinot Grigio. It was out for $11, surely too good to leave in the bargain trolley. 


Smelling:  An auntie Janet died a while ago and my uncle had her old perfumes and passed them on to my mum. She's been sharing the smelly love and I ended up going through it and picked out a few of still good old school Avon scents. Brings back memories. I also went through the five dollar bargain bin at the chemist and got some eau de parfum, so I am smelling fine.


Wearing: Comfy, warm clothes. I wish I had a pair of good ugg boots. I don't. So it's thick warm socks and slippers inside. It's super cold right now.


Knowing: I am more aware of the need to make the time I have during the week when the kids are at school, and my husband is at work, to do all the things I need to do to make my life easy and happy. I am learning to leave all the rest for whenever, like housework and the things that makes everyone else comfortable. The next important thing is making sure the kids are happy. I am not responsible for my hubby, he's on his own, and big and ugly enough to pitch an look after himself. 


Thinking: I need to keep up with making an extensive list of jobs at the start of the day to make sure I am on task for the week. The easy things are feeding the animals, a dog, a cat, the chooks, the canaries and the hook beaked birds in the aviary. The extra stuff is lesson planning for gymnastics and keeping my son on an even track with his appointments and life goals. I do realise I have a little more responsibilities than the average Joe, which is why it is so important to keep on top of things. 


Admiring: Teachers everywhere. I only have two classes a week for gymnastics, that I have to lesson plan for. I have total respect for teachers who lesson plan an entire year of classes, every day of term. 


Getting: An understanding of being a committee member and employee of a sporting club. Lots of extra work that goes unseen and unappreciated until you become a part of it. Get involved and help out if your your child is part of sporting organisation, if you can. 


Bookmarking: Unchecked out shopping carts, for you know, a rainy day. I can assure you that some of these shopping carts will remained unchecked out!


Opening: A can of whoop arse if my sons flatmate doesn't cough up some rent money this week! I am a ninja warrior bitch mofo, so look out sunshine! I am one of those people who gives a bit of slack and then all of a sudden whips like a rubber band to the ball sack. It worked last time anyway. #takenoprisoners #itstoowetfoyoshittobeoutonthestreet


Closing: My account with Booking.com. I can't cancel a booking who has not paid a deposit, can go suck my not existent balls.


Feeling: Good.


Dreaming: Of the warmer weather of the Gold Coast at the end of the month.


Hearing: Rain drops.



This is before she put on her footy boots. They were caked in mud from the week before!


Celebrating: My little Isabel fairy, getting her first improvement award at footy. Go my girl. Here I was dreaming of her winning medals for her gymnastics, and she's given it away to play footy. My son played footy for Tant for years. I thought my days of waiting at footy practise and weekend footy days were over. You never cease to amaze me my girl x 


Pretending: This parenting shiz isn't hard. It's bullshit hard. Just when you think you got it licked, it kicks you in the reals. Just when you don't need it to. Little fuckers. Also pretending that when I yell and carry on like a pork chop passers by can't hear it. I am such an optimist!


Embracing: My new role at the the Millicent Gymnastics Club. I am loving it. It's early days and I am an accredited coach, but it feels like I am faking it as I make it. I have loved the first term of Kindergym and am loving and acing it. Of course there is the new challenge of teaching four and five year old children gymnastic skills and I am nervous and stepping in unsure ground. I am sure my kids are going to yell "the ground is lava in 3,2,1" at any moment! I have nightmares about this shiz you know!